Staying Close With Your Big After Graduation

Going through recruitment as a potential new member, you meet a lot of girls. In my case, there was one girl who I effortlessly clicked with. She was the very first girl I met going through recruitment and is one of the biggest reasons that I accepted my bid. Being that I am a legacy, for as long as I can remember I had wanted to go Greek and get a Big. I spent a lot of time my freshman year of college going back and forth between wanting to transfer to a university with more Greek options and wanting to bite the bullet to go Greek. I went to a few recruitment events for my legacy sorority, but never seriously committed to anything. During the second semester of my sophomore year, I made the choice to go Greek and thus began my journey of a lifetime. 

As I mentioned, my Big, was the first girl I met at Kappa Tau Epsilon’s recruitment event. I was low-key obsessed with this girl and, to this day, I could not explain it to you. During the course of the week I met a ton of girls, but my mind always drifted back to Kappa Tau Epsilon and the women I met at their events. After being extended a bid from KTE I immediately accepted it. On the day of our Big/Little reveal, my Big knew I was her Little but I had absolutely no idea yet and I remember her asking me, “So, who do you think your big is? I wish I could have taken a little this semester it would have been so much fun!” I had a hard time telling if she was kidding or if she was being serious. During our reveal, my heart was racing in anticipation because we clicked so well that I just could not fathom having another person as my Big. When I opened my eyes to see who my Big was, I was overwhelmed with joy and it was honestly one of the happiest moments of my life. My Big and I were inseparable from the beginning. 

My first semester as a sister and the start of my junior year was the start of her senior year. Lucky for me, it took her an extra semester to graduate. We did everything together. We even won “best big/little” duo! Life was a field of sunshine and daisies until the day came when I got a phone call from Rebecca telling me she was on track for graduation and would be graduating the following semester. Summer came and went faster than a tornado in the mid-west and the fall semester did the same. My big is a huge part of my life and it was extremely difficult for me to cope with her graduating. A lot happened to me emotionally during her last semester making it even harder to deal with her leaving me. 

I was dealing with a whirlwind of emotions ranging from proud to sad to excited for her future and it was hard to find a common ground to stand on. Our relationship evolved from being together all the time no questions asked to having to make time to see each other. It was a change that neither of us prepared for. To say that our relationship is not different now would be a lie but the key is finding ways to make sure the relationship never fades away. I can’t tell you we haven’t hit a rough patch or two and I can’t say it was easy, but nothing that’s worth it is ever easy. It’s especially difficult because we both lead very busy lives, but I’m lucky enough that my Big relocated about an hour away from where I live and not half way across the country. 

The most important thing to remember is that life will go on and your relationship with your Big will change, but change isn't always a bad thing. Instead of being down the hall, in the same house, or in the same city you'll be a phone call, a car ride, or a flight away. She will always be your number one fan and your biggest supporter and you'll always be her Little. You'll probably even end up color coordinating on accident, just like old times. 

Here are my tips for staying connected with your big after graduation.

1. Make date plans:  Go out just you and your Big - have a drink, grab lunch, go shopping; things all girls love to do. Yes, this is a lot different than just barging into her room and eating macaroni and cheese in bed with her while watching Netflix, but so is the dynamic of your relationship.

2. Plan a vacation together: Go see your Grandbig, go to a lake house, or get a hotel in a hot spot city and just explore some place new together.

3. FaceTime or Skype: Take 20 minutes out of your day once or twice a week to catch up, sometimes it really helps just seeing the other person.

4. Invite her to sorority events: As an alumni of your organization she still cares about what’s going on and would love to be invited to events that alumni are able to go to.

5. Send her small gifts: Little things make a big difference – sometimes you both just    need a reminder that you’re inseparable even though there’s distance between you.

“Together forever never apart, maybe in distance but never in heart.”  

Sorority Recruitment Do's and Dont's

Last year in August, I went through sorority recruitment as a potential new member. This year, I will be on the inside as a sister of one of the chapters. Some girls (myself included) go through rush with no idea what to wear, what to say, or what is going on. Sure, the Panhellenic council makes a website, but that only helps so much. I've compiled a little list of do's and don'ts that may help!

DO: Get recommendation letters, if possible. Ask any Greek alumni you or your family and friends may know who belong to chapters at the school you are rushing at to send a letter. These letters can be especially helpful with schools that have massive Greek life (think SEC/ACC), but never really hurt your chances. If push comes to shove and you don't know anyone Greek, post on this page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/270665629731083/
There are helpful people who would be willing to write you a letter if you send them a resume and provide some background information!

DON'T: Come into rush with the mindset of "I'm only rushing chapter XYZ" or "I'm NOT rushing chapter XYZ" because that mindset will get you let down quickly. Many girls who go through the recruitment process thinking those things are crushed when XYZ doesn't invite them back for the next round. Some even drop recruitment altogether. Don't let that be you because, as the rounds go on, you learn more about each chapter and there may be something that causes you to fall in love with a chapter you didn't like all that much in the beginning. Be completely open to all of the chapters; each one has something special to offer you!

DO: Talk to your group leader (Rho Gamma, Pi Chi, etc.) about your thoughts throughout the whole recruitment process. Many group leaders hand out little notebooks where you can write your thoughts in after you visit each house. These are especially handy when you are going back and forth between house and things get confusing. They're especially fun to read through after the process is finished! Write out a Pro's and Con's between each sorority and be realistic. 

DON'T: Be afraid to ask questions. You want to know if they have a payment plan? Ask! Asking questions makes you look like you are genuinely interested in the sorority. The sisters will definitely remember that during the final days when they are torn in their own selection process. I remember when I went through recruitment, I would ask a question during a dead conversation. It helped to avoid awkward pauses.

DO: Dress for the weather and bring makeup and a comb for touchups throughout the day. Comfort is very important because if you are comfortable and confident in what you're wearing, that's going to show! During recruitment, my outfits got progressively dressier. Throughout the week I wore a romper, cute shorts and tank, two sundresses, and a cocktail dress for preference night. I went through rush at the University of Central Florida in the middle of summer!

Throughout the whole process, there will be times when you will question if the whole thing is for you. If you are having any doubts, speak to your group leaders (that's what they're there for). I think everyone can make the most out of going Greek and recruitment was honestly one of the best experiences of my collegiate career so far. When you're running home after opening your bid card... that's when you'll know. GO GREEK! RUSH! LILP <3

Kelsey